Be nice, Sanju....
"Sanju!! You should stop using bad words!!!". Ooooopssss.... Somehow a bad word had slipped into the conversation and the voice that is seldom stern with me was now stern enough to keep me quiet.. Besides, what convincing argument can you give in favour of using bad words?? So, I took a promise then and there to stop using bad words.. Well, how hard can it be??
I had just reached Bangalore to join Wipro.. I was enthusiastic at the prospect of finally being able to earn a buck, I am the oldest in my family to start earning - which I consider as an insult and the fact that I am in Bangalore which is supposed to be a really big deal.. It is in this scenario that I took my oath.. A little flashback though.. As you all know I did my B.Tech in CUSAT.. Now this college has greatly affected the way I speak.. Bad words are part and parcel of every conversation.. With only few girls in college, one can hear bad words being thrown around without much hesitation.. Plus with friends like Sheffin and Vineeth in first year itself and after a ragging session by the most technically endowed foul language masters we used to call as seniors can anybody really blame me for the usage of bad words??
My favourite bad word is ofcourse in malayalam.. Everybody has a favourite bad word.. It's one of the qualities that uniquely identify a college student.. My favourite bad word was one that starts with the syllable "my" and ends with..... ooopsss.... only two syllables in that word!!! Infact I think it was my favourite malayalam word itself.. I either used to start every conversation with that or used to end a conversation with that word.. In college we didn't need any particular reason to start mouthing off and this was source of great entertainment.. I know, it sounds weird but so many jokes are nothing but exchange of bad words.. I am remembering some conversations with my buddies Varun and Ullas.. If you got no jokes, go and call one of these fellas some kind of bad word they will reply in kind and we both will laugh, very satisfied..
But that was the old me.. Now in PHASE 3, I have decided no bad words.. But bad habits die hard.. Sometimes its just pushing to get out of my mouth but I have learnt to control myself.. Only part of the first syllable comes out now.. I make a sound just like actor Innocent, something like.. "ummm.. mmm... " and control myself.. Good progress, I felt.. But I was in for the sternest test of my life!!!
Barely, a week after my oath, we went to attend my best friend Suni's sister's wedding reception.. We stayed late, well, not that late till about 9,30.. Things were fine and we were having a good time and me, Varun and Kutts ( a girl, her name is Neethu, I think... :-) ... forgot it after 4 years of kutts, kutts) decide to head back to our PG's.. Me and Varun (we are roommates) had to ensure safe "depositing" of Kutts at her PG before we went to our PG.. Suddenly, Varun's phone is pick pocketed, he takes my phone and rushes out of the bus to find his phone.. Everything seemed to happen in 30 seconds.. After sometime I realized I was outside the big city with a girl and I have no idea where we are and now I don't have my phone itself.. Usually we have to do something to keep Kutts quiet.. But now she was not saying a word.. She was very silent, she was obviously very nervous.. SO WAS I.. "ummm... mmmm...", I thought controlling myself.. It was 11pm and I am walking in a deserted road with a girl towards her PG.. People gave curious glances.. Man, I thought this city was supposedly modern.. I felt a lot better after dropping her at her PG only to find no buses.. Road is deserted, I don't have a phone and I don't want to stay there for long.. I see an auto!! Blood sucking, no no, LIFE SUCKING parasites.. My only option now to reach PG.. "ummmm... mmmmm..."..
I have been having cough and fever since the 4th day I reached Bangalore.. Coughing is my curse.. Whenever I am affected by it, then I will be doing nothing but cough for at least 2 months.. But it never gets worse.. Infact I have never been to a doctor for 9 years!! And that too was for a growth on my ear and I consulted a homeo doctor couple of times and it was gone.. All in all, I am pretty healthy.. But when I started having breathing problems and recurring colds (gone today, comes back tomorrow), I decided to visit the Wipro doctor, consultation was free, so, went to see the doctor.. Doctor's office is unfamiliar territory to me.. Simply because I have never been there.. She checked my temperature, BP, asked me to inhale/exhale.. She began writing.....she went on writing...I thought, OH GOD!!! What the hell is wrong with me?? Just when I thought she might need an additional sheet, she stopped.. She said, "You have allergic bronchitis".. I have what!?.. She hands out the list.. It looks like my training syllabus.. Lot of subsections with unfamiliar names.. Names of medicines, I suppose.. "ummmm... mmmmm... Thank you doctor!!"... I walk out.. After scanning the prescription (or the medicine shopping list, I should say) my friends joke, "do you think you will be hungry for lunch after taking all that?".. I went to the medical store, hand over the prescription to the pharmacist.. He silently curse me looking at the list.. He is running around for 5 minutes and finally locates all my medicines.. I stand at the cashier with a 500 Rs note.. I need change.. I am thinking to myself, "I hope this guys can change this 500 Rs note for me".. I was expecting around 150 or 200 for the medicines and I could do with 3 hundred ruppee notes.. Cashier says "738 ruppees sir".. Excuse me!? I look behind me.. There are 2 people waiting in line.. I tell him, "They are not with me.. Just give me my bill.".. He smiled and said, "Its your bill sir.. 738 ruppeeeesss sir" he stressed... Apparently one of the medicines was Rs. 38 per tablet.. What exactly am I having? My eyes are involuntarily watery, my heart is paining and my head is spinning as I take out additional 3 hundred ruppee notes from my purse.. "Do you have change?", HE ASKS ME!! "ummm... mmmmm...." I shake my head to indicate no...
I came to Bangalore with a very healthy body weighing 75kgs, which is perfect for my height and signs of one year of hard work at gym finally showing in my body.. Thanks to my allergic bullshit and my inability to adjust to food in Bangalore, my waistline gradually began to reduce.. Nothing to panic, I thought.. Just a couple of kilos.. And I wanted to reduce my stomach.. Also I had an injury to my wrist at the gym just before I came to Bangalore, so I had to take a break.. Also how can you do exercise when you have breathing problem and more importantly who the hell is going to wash the gym clothes!? Outing with my friends, I decide to check my weight.. 67 kilos!! Unbelievable.. I had lost 8 kilos in a little more than a month!! Still, 67 is not bad, I thought.. I got no sympathy from my roommates!! Come on, Varun is barely 60 and Unni is 50 I think.. In my room, I am Arnold!! I go home exactly 2 months and 2 weeks after I came to Bangalore.. I am omitting the family drama on my weight issue.. I go to my bedroom, face a full length mirror for the first time since I left home.. WHO THE HELL IS THIS? I thought.. My body was unrecognisable, I was thinner than I ever remember!! 67 kilos is this worse? Against my instinct, I go check my weight.. 63.5 kilos!! I had lost almost 12 kilos in 10 weeks.. I have seen ads with people saying "I lost 10 kilos in 3 months by joining blah blah training course".. There is a difference though, those people are beaming but I wanted to kill myself.. One year of hard work, pain and food down the drain!! And I can't even say a bad word.. I hum "ummm... mmm.." for half hour!!!
I liked the training sessions.. Not the part where the trainer puts you to sleep but the part where we got to do programs, that part I enjoyed.. I haven't programmed in one year and I really enjoyed it.. When you really enjoy something, you don't have to study that much and I managed to get highest marks for my TRP exam(I did study!!).. But, I thought my real playground will be RLL, real life lab where we have to do a project.. We were assigned project on tuesday and asked to complete documentation on wednesday and start actual coding on thursday.. Me and my team member, Unni finished coding that evening itself.. Our evaluation was not until next Thursday.. To be fair, we had an easy project.. Rest of the time, we beautified the project, added couple of functionalities, helped a few others with their projects.. We were happy and confident.. Presentation could have been better, but it went well.. Marks came and we got the lowest score in the batch!! Our marks were on par with some projects whose members didn't know what the hell they were doing.. I was angry, disappointed and felt cheated... It was one of those thing which you know, you have done right but doesn't get the right appreciation.. I have heard my brother talk about such issues.. Welcome to the real world, I said to myself... "ummm...mmmm...."...
I try to stay happy.. I almost always am, because I am focused on a bigger goal and always try to ignore the slight hiccups.. Its not like only I have problems.. Everybody has problems.. But the difference is they can swear and bad mouth until they feel better.. I gave up that liberty, I have to share with someone to feel better, hence this blog..
Finally, I get mail from my manager.. I had conveyed that I had finished training and was awaiting posting.. He was replying to that.. "Sanju, we have a project in Pune account.. I will propose your name for that.."... None of the friends have got any such mail.. I read the mail 10 times.. I feel blank.. PUNE!!! Alone.. Bus takes 2 days to reach home.. No direct flight to home.. This is it.. I scream out.. "MY**"!!!!
I had just reached Bangalore to join Wipro.. I was enthusiastic at the prospect of finally being able to earn a buck, I am the oldest in my family to start earning - which I consider as an insult and the fact that I am in Bangalore which is supposed to be a really big deal.. It is in this scenario that I took my oath.. A little flashback though.. As you all know I did my B.Tech in CUSAT.. Now this college has greatly affected the way I speak.. Bad words are part and parcel of every conversation.. With only few girls in college, one can hear bad words being thrown around without much hesitation.. Plus with friends like Sheffin and Vineeth in first year itself and after a ragging session by the most technically endowed foul language masters we used to call as seniors can anybody really blame me for the usage of bad words??
My favourite bad word is ofcourse in malayalam.. Everybody has a favourite bad word.. It's one of the qualities that uniquely identify a college student.. My favourite bad word was one that starts with the syllable "my" and ends with..... ooopsss.... only two syllables in that word!!! Infact I think it was my favourite malayalam word itself.. I either used to start every conversation with that or used to end a conversation with that word.. In college we didn't need any particular reason to start mouthing off and this was source of great entertainment.. I know, it sounds weird but so many jokes are nothing but exchange of bad words.. I am remembering some conversations with my buddies Varun and Ullas.. If you got no jokes, go and call one of these fellas some kind of bad word they will reply in kind and we both will laugh, very satisfied..
But that was the old me.. Now in PHASE 3, I have decided no bad words.. But bad habits die hard.. Sometimes its just pushing to get out of my mouth but I have learnt to control myself.. Only part of the first syllable comes out now.. I make a sound just like actor Innocent, something like.. "ummm.. mmm... " and control myself.. Good progress, I felt.. But I was in for the sternest test of my life!!!
Barely, a week after my oath, we went to attend my best friend Suni's sister's wedding reception.. We stayed late, well, not that late till about 9,30.. Things were fine and we were having a good time and me, Varun and Kutts ( a girl, her name is Neethu, I think... :-) ... forgot it after 4 years of kutts, kutts) decide to head back to our PG's.. Me and Varun (we are roommates) had to ensure safe "depositing" of Kutts at her PG before we went to our PG.. Suddenly, Varun's phone is pick pocketed, he takes my phone and rushes out of the bus to find his phone.. Everything seemed to happen in 30 seconds.. After sometime I realized I was outside the big city with a girl and I have no idea where we are and now I don't have my phone itself.. Usually we have to do something to keep Kutts quiet.. But now she was not saying a word.. She was very silent, she was obviously very nervous.. SO WAS I.. "ummm... mmmm...", I thought controlling myself.. It was 11pm and I am walking in a deserted road with a girl towards her PG.. People gave curious glances.. Man, I thought this city was supposedly modern.. I felt a lot better after dropping her at her PG only to find no buses.. Road is deserted, I don't have a phone and I don't want to stay there for long.. I see an auto!! Blood sucking, no no, LIFE SUCKING parasites.. My only option now to reach PG.. "ummmm... mmmmm..."..
I have been having cough and fever since the 4th day I reached Bangalore.. Coughing is my curse.. Whenever I am affected by it, then I will be doing nothing but cough for at least 2 months.. But it never gets worse.. Infact I have never been to a doctor for 9 years!! And that too was for a growth on my ear and I consulted a homeo doctor couple of times and it was gone.. All in all, I am pretty healthy.. But when I started having breathing problems and recurring colds (gone today, comes back tomorrow), I decided to visit the Wipro doctor, consultation was free, so, went to see the doctor.. Doctor's office is unfamiliar territory to me.. Simply because I have never been there.. She checked my temperature, BP, asked me to inhale/exhale.. She began writing.....she went on writing...I thought, OH GOD!!! What the hell is wrong with me?? Just when I thought she might need an additional sheet, she stopped.. She said, "You have allergic bronchitis".. I have what!?.. She hands out the list.. It looks like my training syllabus.. Lot of subsections with unfamiliar names.. Names of medicines, I suppose.. "ummmm... mmmmm... Thank you doctor!!"... I walk out.. After scanning the prescription (or the medicine shopping list, I should say) my friends joke, "do you think you will be hungry for lunch after taking all that?".. I went to the medical store, hand over the prescription to the pharmacist.. He silently curse me looking at the list.. He is running around for 5 minutes and finally locates all my medicines.. I stand at the cashier with a 500 Rs note.. I need change.. I am thinking to myself, "I hope this guys can change this 500 Rs note for me".. I was expecting around 150 or 200 for the medicines and I could do with 3 hundred ruppee notes.. Cashier says "738 ruppees sir".. Excuse me!? I look behind me.. There are 2 people waiting in line.. I tell him, "They are not with me.. Just give me my bill.".. He smiled and said, "Its your bill sir.. 738 ruppeeeesss sir" he stressed... Apparently one of the medicines was Rs. 38 per tablet.. What exactly am I having? My eyes are involuntarily watery, my heart is paining and my head is spinning as I take out additional 3 hundred ruppee notes from my purse.. "Do you have change?", HE ASKS ME!! "ummm... mmmmm...." I shake my head to indicate no...
I came to Bangalore with a very healthy body weighing 75kgs, which is perfect for my height and signs of one year of hard work at gym finally showing in my body.. Thanks to my allergic bullshit and my inability to adjust to food in Bangalore, my waistline gradually began to reduce.. Nothing to panic, I thought.. Just a couple of kilos.. And I wanted to reduce my stomach.. Also I had an injury to my wrist at the gym just before I came to Bangalore, so I had to take a break.. Also how can you do exercise when you have breathing problem and more importantly who the hell is going to wash the gym clothes!? Outing with my friends, I decide to check my weight.. 67 kilos!! Unbelievable.. I had lost 8 kilos in a little more than a month!! Still, 67 is not bad, I thought.. I got no sympathy from my roommates!! Come on, Varun is barely 60 and Unni is 50 I think.. In my room, I am Arnold!! I go home exactly 2 months and 2 weeks after I came to Bangalore.. I am omitting the family drama on my weight issue.. I go to my bedroom, face a full length mirror for the first time since I left home.. WHO THE HELL IS THIS? I thought.. My body was unrecognisable, I was thinner than I ever remember!! 67 kilos is this worse? Against my instinct, I go check my weight.. 63.5 kilos!! I had lost almost 12 kilos in 10 weeks.. I have seen ads with people saying "I lost 10 kilos in 3 months by joining blah blah training course".. There is a difference though, those people are beaming but I wanted to kill myself.. One year of hard work, pain and food down the drain!! And I can't even say a bad word.. I hum "ummm... mmm.." for half hour!!!
I liked the training sessions.. Not the part where the trainer puts you to sleep but the part where we got to do programs, that part I enjoyed.. I haven't programmed in one year and I really enjoyed it.. When you really enjoy something, you don't have to study that much and I managed to get highest marks for my TRP exam(I did study!!).. But, I thought my real playground will be RLL, real life lab where we have to do a project.. We were assigned project on tuesday and asked to complete documentation on wednesday and start actual coding on thursday.. Me and my team member, Unni finished coding that evening itself.. Our evaluation was not until next Thursday.. To be fair, we had an easy project.. Rest of the time, we beautified the project, added couple of functionalities, helped a few others with their projects.. We were happy and confident.. Presentation could have been better, but it went well.. Marks came and we got the lowest score in the batch!! Our marks were on par with some projects whose members didn't know what the hell they were doing.. I was angry, disappointed and felt cheated... It was one of those thing which you know, you have done right but doesn't get the right appreciation.. I have heard my brother talk about such issues.. Welcome to the real world, I said to myself... "ummm...mmmm...."...
I try to stay happy.. I almost always am, because I am focused on a bigger goal and always try to ignore the slight hiccups.. Its not like only I have problems.. Everybody has problems.. But the difference is they can swear and bad mouth until they feel better.. I gave up that liberty, I have to share with someone to feel better, hence this blog..
Finally, I get mail from my manager.. I had conveyed that I had finished training and was awaiting posting.. He was replying to that.. "Sanju, we have a project in Pune account.. I will propose your name for that.."... None of the friends have got any such mail.. I read the mail 10 times.. I feel blank.. PUNE!!! Alone.. Bus takes 2 days to reach home.. No direct flight to home.. This is it.. I scream out.. "MY**"!!!!
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