The Barber Shop

"Hachooooo.....". Oh no! Its the third time I sneezed in the last hour.. My ma comes dashing from the kitchen almost knocks me over due to the inertia and without even waiting to catch her breath, gives her diagnosis.. "Time for your haircut, San", she says.. According to her, failure to shorten your hair exactly once every month will give you this disease characterized by running nose, sneezing etc which will vanish once you visit the barber shop.. I try to argue saying that if that is the case, then guys with long hair like Hrithik would have been hosptilazied.. She asks me, "Then why did Dhoni and Ishant cut their hair?".. Stumped!!! Smart woman.. Hmmm... No use arguing with ma, she always wins.. Now, why did they cut their hair?? Is it really because they were catching cold..??.. Mothers do that to you.. They can convince you to believe anthing they want you to..


So, off I went to the barber shop.. You know, this monthly routine that I have been doing all my life is becoming depressing as the years go by.. When I was a kid when I looked in the barber shop mirror, I could see a mess of hair, too much hair and they charged you only Rs. 20... Now, I dont know the "reason" exactly, but now-a-days the mirror does not show me having as much hair as I used to.. It is still a mess but the quantity of hair is somewhat smaller.. And you know what the wicked thing is?? They now charge you Rs. 35. Damn!!! Why? Because now you are a freaking adult.. You may be bald, but if you are an adult, it is Rs. 35.. I do not approve this pricing system, you know, the price should be proportional to the amount of hair to be cut, not according to age, this is unfair.. Anyway this ridiculous pricing seems to agree pretty well with the barber.. He welcomes me with such a generous smile.. He must be thinking, "Whoa! Free cash coming...".


The beauty of the barber shop is that, the barber is like a fair king who treats all his customers as equals.. One may come in a brand-new Mercedez but still has to wait for his turn in that ugly sofa-which-used-to-have-a-cushion-but-is-now-full-of-filth-and-hair... There is no special treatment.. Everybody has to put up with the same jokes of the barber while we wonder, "Didn't I hear about this last month??", the filmy magazines are for everyone, everybody bends his head before the barber (usually, not out of respect..), why, the barber even uses the same scissor, comb, brush, powder, blade etc for everyone.. One of the reasons why you should go straight to shower after a hair cut..


The barber shop is more than what it seems from outside.. It is an arena of great discussion, often even intellectual.. Topics range from Chandrayaan mission to Malayalam language classical status, analysis of Sachin's batting technique to global economic recession, why, there was once a very heated argument on American president election and its effects on the world.. Everyone has a chane to voice their opinions, no matter how stupid they are.. Hail the fair barber!! It is also a free-news service station.. The barber knows everything that happens in the vicinity!! Nothing escapes the barber.. Also, he wants to know everything.. He asks all sorts of questions, your family, your studies.. If in the mood, he will give you advice, career counselling, tips and tricks etc free of cost.. The sad thing is, we have to agree to whatever the guy says.. Dare not talk back to the barber.. He got scissors and blades, man.. Be careful.. Do as the man says.. Else get ready to hear, "Ooooops... I think I might have shaved off your eyebrows... Hope you dont mind." Damage done in the barber shop is irreversible.. What is done, stays done, all you can do is pray for it to grow back..


Finally, I figure why the hair-cutting exercise does not take as long as it used to.. It is all over in 15 minutes while a similar operation would have required atleast 25-30 minutes two years ago.. Well, I know what you are thinking.. But, thats not the reason.. The actual reason, I try to tell myselves, is that as time passed, the barber has gained more experience and as a result he has become more efficient and quick in carrying out his work.. Also, there has been a lot of technological advancements in this field like, eh...., ummm...., that is......, well...there must be something, that help them finish their work quickly... I just hope there are no further advancements in my hairline!!!!

Comments

nish said…
well narratd wid d writing which portrayz YOU as such...kudos!!! 'n sawwa change-- hw cum yu din pull nybdyzz leg inn here!!!!
San said…
next time definitely.. its not that i did not see a chance to get ullas once again for obvious reasons, but let it pass...
ullas said…
Definitely a place,i hope i would be visiting even after 10-12 years..

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